Own your S*!t

My faith community began a new series of teachings this morning. For a year or so the leadership has been knocking around a series they lovingly titled "Own your shit". Not usually fitting for a church, but apt and truthful (and changed to "Own your stuff" for the more delicate people who might be offended). We are an imperfect group of believers and we openly invite literally anyone from any walk of life in to experience what we hope is true community in Christ.

It's a little different and some who come don't return, mainly because we are open about our failings and inconsistencies and shine a rather glaring light on people. That light is in us and some folks can't handle it. Others prefer liturgical services or something more traditional. We are hardly that and openly encourage people to give us 6 weeks and see if we click.

I have clicked. It feels lately like feeling the tumblers on a padlock slowly being released. One at a time, the lock on my chains is coming undone. I frankly feel undone. I am fearful of what will happen with complete surrender. I have grown quite accustomed to my box, thank you very much. But God doesn't want me to stay there.

One crucial element that I didn't realize was missing is hope. In the kick of to this teaching series we gathered as a community to pray and raise our voices in worship. Our pastor shared his experience at a recent pastor's conference. He said the one thing he got came early amidst his normal form of cynicism was God declaring to him that there is hope. Hope for him, his marriage, the parenting of his children. Hope for our church. Hope for each individual, couple, family. There is HOPE! In all capital letters, the word forged itself to my heart and I realized it was a key missing ingredient in my stunted spiritual growth.

I have recently gone through some pastoral counseling where I realized I really didn't get God's love for me. Now I know. And to that love I add hope.

My faith does not have to be perfect. It just has to be. And in that knowledge I have hope that I can own my stuff. I can own the crosses I create so I can carry them around and act the martyr. I can own the sins that I just can't seem to let go of. I can own the thoughts that trip me up and tumble out of my mouth and make me a poor example of what it means to be a Christ follower. I can own my stuff, be responsible, stop placing blame, cease with the excuses.

I CAN own my stuff. I dare you to do the same.